Tuesday, December 25, 2007

A Christmas Story

Merry Christmas from pretty Portland!

I didn't take this photo (the giveaway should be that it's actually in focus). Interestingly enough, I walked across this bridge a few days ago, after Ben and I were going back downtown after seeing Superbad (which was stupid! Sorry, America) and there was no "Merry Christmas" sign to be seen. There was, however, a deserted construction site, which I guess didn't make the cut for this particular photo.

Christmas actually started for me on Friday morning, when I saw my #1 Portland enemy (a high school kid who likes to yell obscenities in a Cartman voice on the 7:25 am bus) run face first into a telephone pole and knock himself out. Ho ho ho! I also saw a construction worker give cookies to a homeless man, which is probably a more acceptable thing to be excited about. At work we had our bagel brunch, which was fun, and then Ben flew in at about midnight. We've just been slothing around, cooking some food, and walking about. Yesterday Ben made a rosemary pork roast, which went so excellently with the rosemary cheese that Geoff and Jill sent (if you send a box of cheese, you too can be mentioned by name in this blog!). We then spent awhile watching "Yule Log 2002" on Oregon Public Broadcasting, which is a 3-hour shot of a fireplace. Every so often, a hand would come in to poke at the fire with a stick, or throw another log on, which was very exciting for us.


Fire: now in HD!

This morning, we got up, made some coffee, and watched FOUR judge shows in a row (Judge David, People's Court, Judge Mathis, and Judge Hatchette). Luckily, during Judge Hatchette it started to snow, so we had an excuse to leave the house and go for a walk.


Ben was excited.


The view from my balcony


A pile of old Coke bottles we saw


An alley near my house


Man, we turned off the judge shows for this?


Brr.

Portland's hottest ride


This is probably my favorite present of the year -- a "Tabby" pocket puzzle that Ben found at his parents' house. It's like when you spend $100 on an Erector set for your kid, and then he takes the box and plays with it all afternoon instead.

And finally, this is what happens when you try to take a self-portrait above a steaming pot. It's probably for the best that you can't really see our faces.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Good Grief

Today I worked on German books for a long, long, long time. Normally, I like this, but unfortunately today's batch consisted mainly of professional law books, which... well, let's just say that for some reason we didn't cover international water-use law vocabulary in any of my German classes, so by the end of the day I felt like my head was imploding in on itself. My only coherent thought as I left the building was "Gwarrgh, pizza! Me want!" (you'll be happy to know that my wish was later fulfilled). I then managed to miss the bus TWICE downtown; after the first miss, I walked down the street to get more transit tickets, then hurried back to see it pulling away without me again. Both times I ran down the street yelling something like, "NoooooOOOOooo HEYYYY!!!!!" and flailing my arms. Since I do this roughly three or four times a week, I probably no longer have any chance of impressing any of the really unattractive people that habitually ride my bus, which is too bad. I'm not sure why I keep running after the bus, since it's never once stopped for me, but this never seems to occur to me at the time. It's sort of like Charlie Brown and the football, I guess.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

More Breaking News: Birthday Edition

Today's my mom's birthday! I hear it's cold and snowy back in Illinois, so send good thoughts of sun and happiness! Meanwhile, I'm in Portland, eating cake and thinking about her:

Happy Birthday, Mommy! I love you.

Today I unearthed a pile of old mix cd's, including one that Anna made me right before I left. Somehow she managed to segue from a Decemberists song directly into that Canned Heat song that used to be on a Pepsi commercial. Brilliant! My friends are better than everybody else's friends.

Last night I went to a nickel arcade with my pal Walt. I'm not sure if it was quite as good as Skateland (no skate-up concession stand, for one) but there WERE skeeball machines and a Star Trek: Voyager shooting game that I failed miserably at. We ended up winning a pile of tickets, so I got a skull keychain (complete with faux-jewel eyes, just like real skulls!) and he got some plastic army men. Also, my arm is nearly dead today because I injured it playing air hockey. How pathetic am I? (Answer: infinity.)

This week promises to be exciting. We've been getting treat boxes from publishers every day recently, so all I do at work is wander over to the table and claw through all the piles of candy. On Friday we have our department holiday party, which is some sort of "bagel brunch." Apparently I've been fully assimilated into office culture, because I'm actually really excited about this. FREE BAGELS!! THIS IS GREAT. And then Ben on Friday night! Aaheeeeha! I went Christmas shopping on Mississippi the other day, where all the stores were so festive and happy that it made the task a treat instead of a burden. One shop was giving out free champagne, another had hot cider, and a third had some pet zebra finches that were chirping happily over by a rack of dresses. Downtown is all lit up, and I love walking through it every evening on my way home. And then New Year's Eve!!! Sorry, I appear to be really excited about everything ever lately. Next up: Why I Love Circles, and The Story of How I Ate a Really Good Orange.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Night Janitor at HarperCollins

On my commute home today, a woman walked by me to get off the bus, and a fortune from a fortune cookie fell out of her purse and landed on the seat next to me. (I know. But really, this actually did happen.) It said, "You have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself." This was at the very second that I was listening to a song called "Publisher" by Blonde Redhead. Who knew a cosmic symbol would come to me on public transit? Also, my lucky numbers were 4 and 7 (4 + 7 = December 11th!! Or December 47th?) and 23, which is the name of the album I was listening to. That, and 14, 35, and 48, which I'm ignoring since they don't fit neatly into the story. Although, I was 14 once... NO MERE COINCIDENCE.

Ben visits in 10 days, Anna gets here in a month, Shadie comes in 6 or 8 weeks, Geoff visits in February, and Alex maybe comes sometime after that. My thoughts basically consist of a never-ending slideshow of these five faces, maybe with an Abba song playing in the background. Those 5 faces, and one of those cartoon meat drumsticks. Yes, that's about all there is to me.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

More breaking news

Aiiiieeeaaahh, I just killed a giant spider that was hanging out in the corner of my room. Why, spider, why? Why right before bed? Luckily I managed to grab a shoe that I don't really like, since I'll probably leave it there (covering the mangled corpse) until I move out. It's December, isn't everything on earth supposed to be dead by now? Next time I'll use Paul's shoe.

In a further quest to make sure every second of my life is documented on the internet, you can now track what I listen to on my ipod every day here. Hey, how'd that Ginuwine track get on there? Clearly there must be some mistake.

Here is how I would rate every tea in the Stash Herbal Tea Sampler:

Apple Cinnamon: B
Blueberry: F
Chamomile: D-
Lemon Ginger: B+
Licorice Spice: F-
Mango Passionfruit: C
Orange Starfruit: C
Peppermint: A+
Wild Raspberry: F

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Poking at things with sticks

Tonight I was reflecting back on the week and thinking about how great it had been, when it occurred to me that I couldn't actually explain, in normal terms, why it'd been so great. I have nothing to report. I've lived the same day 5 days in a row. But how to explain? After seeing basically every person I love in the world during Thanksgiving, coming back to Oregon was sort of like staring at a blank sheet of paper. Yet, I wasn't, and am not, unhappy. What I find impossible to include in this blog are the small things that take up most of my time and give me most of my happiness. I love waking up and drinking coffee out of my Edward Gorey mug so much that I start to get excited about it every night before I go to bed. This morning, Ben patiently listened to me drone on about how I got a credit card with a picture of an eagle on it, and how I thought I lost my keys the other day (they were in my back pocket the whole time). The other day I came close to telling you about how I almost fell down on the bus, until I realized that that was all there was to the story. But, I don't know, it was so funny at the time!

And on that note, today was wonderful. It was sunny and cold and I walked around my neighborhood for hours, listening to music. I drank coffee out of my mug. I learned that Will Oldham took the cover photo for Slint's "Spiderland" album, which, I know, I know, I know nobody cares about, but I had to tell you because it gave me such a thrill. I missed seeing Bill Moyers on OPB, but it's okay because he'll be on again tomorrow! After 20 minutes of staring at my bookshelf, I've decided that I'll start reading Kundera's "Immortality" again soon. There's a lot to look forward to, including writing my initials on the bus window and seeing if I can guess the exact minute that I clock in at work.

I also bought some soap that smells really good!

What I meant to say was that things are going pretty well.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Some photos from my trip:



Uncaptionable



Trapped inside a garbage compactor, or just sitting in the back of the Worst Car Ever?



The Worst Car Ever has a patch of rust instead of a sunroof



I wish we had gone to this!



The Worst Car Ever: external shot



Bread and Pen mustache



Mario and Wario



Tweedledee and Tweedledum

Is she standing up or sitting down? Haw haw!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Spockolate

Today I tried to ride the bus to work, which would have been a great success if the bus had actually shown up. After a pathetic chain of events involving a ticket machine that only spoke Spanish and a depressing sojourn at a bus stop located under an overpass, I finally walked home and begged Paul to drive me. From there, the day progressed into something that I would liken to a young adult novel where someone endures their first mortifying day at a new junior high school. I immediately made sure to sit on a giant chunk of chocolate, since the only thing that looks better than a wet, tired employee is a wet, tired employee with melted chocolate all over their ass. I was just getting over this when I noticed that my lunch had leaked all over my purse, which now smells like tuna and capers (though, as a bonus I may now enjoy new popularity with the neighborhood cats). The rest is just your typical laundry list of stupid embarrassments: food in teeth, zit on cheek, stuttering, tripping. I skinned my knee? I don't even know how that happened.

Fortunately, I found the chocolate incident to be so hilarious that I was in an A+ mood all day, which turned to A++ after I got home and unearthed this little gem:

Yeah, haw haw, go ahead and make your "some things never change!!!" joke. The point is, I vividly remember this trip because I sat in chocolate and got in all over that jacket! I feel a kinship with my younger self. The fact that I am posing with cardboard Star Trek characters makes it even more perfect.

Home in 2 1/2 days :)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

In Which Various Forms of Chicken Save the Day

Bugh. Ben left for Los Angeles today. The only good that can come from this is the fact that I now enjoy full custody of the chicken-shaped casserole dish that we found by the side of the road a few weeks ago. Luckily, Paul was able to provide hours of entertainment for me today by remaining in a death-like sleep in front of a half-eaten bucket of Popeye's chicken. It's the simple things, I tell you.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Portland, Cincinnati, Chicago, Indianapolis, Atlanta, Portland

Big news! But first, here's a photo of a weasel:



I don't think I'd ever really seen a weasel until the other day, when one happened to be on TV. I always thought they were badger-like, but... no! Weasels!

Anyway, the big news is that I'm coming home for Thanksgiving!

Portland to Cincinnati 11/21/07 11:55 pm - 7:07 am
Cincinnati to Chicago 11/22/07 9:15 am - 9:35 am
Chicago to Indianapolis 11/22/07 10:25 am - 12:25 pm

Indianapolis to Atlanta 11/25/07 2:25 pm - 3:59 pm
Atlanta to Portland 11/25/07 6:49 pm - 9:19 pm

Lalalalala!!!!!






















Sunday, November 04, 2007

Hallowhine

I almost forgot, I have Halloween photos! You can probably already guess what I dressed up as, since I've had the same costume for the past 5 years. I think this also marks five years in a row that I've vowed to dress as Wario (my mentor), without actually making any moves towards building the costume. Maybe next year? I know I'd look great with a foot wide cardboard mustache. Alex, you're obviously Mario.



We went to greatest Halloween party ever, which I've deemed "greatest" solely because it's the only costume party I've ever been to where nobody was dressed as a sexy nurse. LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AGAIN. Ben had no costume, so he borrowed a wolf mask from Kathleen and claimed to be Teen Wolf.


Haw haw!


Corinn, Paul, and Kathleen as Mexican wrestlers



The winners of the "least amount of effort" award pose for a photo



Bjork and "Crazy Eyez Killa" Olsen, having a grand time on the stairs


WHAT ARE YOU DRESSED AS, PINK LADY??



Ricardo en Fuego fears Teen Wolf while Gum studies her scarf.


Boy, did we have a great time.


Unfortunately, Paul's intense look of concentration got him nowhere. He was, as they say, "hosed." Teen Wolf wins again!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

A case of the mondays

This update has been a little late in coming, since after sitting at a computer all day, I really don't feel like sitting at a computer again and typing about how I sit at a computer all day. But anyway, about this job: uh, I have no idea. It's sort of impossible to tell what it's going to be like on a day-to-day basis, and I don't want to make any generalizations because they'll probably turn out to be wrong. However:

1) I'm not sure I actually know what I do for a living.
2) Office comedies are based in truth.
3) 5 cups of coffee a day is too much.
4) They're paying me to go there, and I already have benefits, so by default I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

The first few days I really had almost nothing to do, so I spent a lot of time getting hot drinks, shuffling papers around, and trying to figure out what my department actually does. Those were not good times. They've been keeping me pretty busy for the last few days, though, so things are looking up; once I understand what it is I'm actually supposed to be doing, I think the work itself will be kind of nice. I really, really really like learning about the book industry, and I'm one of those boring people who relishes solitary, detail-oriented tasks, so the job will probably be a good fit (and the management style is extremely hands-off, which is perfect). The people there are friendly but reserved, so I haven't been able to meet too many people, but I'm hoping it will get easier (unfortunately, some of my neighbors seem to be a bit stony-faced, even choosing to skip out on the Halloween party we had during work -- which was on the clock and had a ton of food -- to sit hunched in their cubicles). The people I have talked to have been very kind and willing to help, though.

Anyway, who cares. Last weekend Ben and I went to Forest Park, which is a 5,000 acre forest reserve inside Portland. You drive through downtown, then all of the sudden you're in the middle of an old-growth forest! Look:


Forest Park, by Dolce y Gabbana






PREFONTAINE LIVES!!!


This is the Willamette River, sort of. In the distance you can see all the fall colors of the city and on the horizon is the Cascade mountain range.

I didn't take this photo, but this is Mount Hood over downtown Portland. It's one of my favorite parts of living in Oregon. I see it every day (and it really is this visible, and even prettier in real life) and I still can't get over how beautiful it is. We can see Mount St. Helens from here, too. Sometimes it spews ash! Mountains are neat.

Friday, October 26, 2007

If loving a constant temperature range of 40-70 degrees is wrong, I don't want to be right

I don't think there's really been a day yet in Portland where I haven't at some point said, "What a nice day!" Fall in Oregon is what I would term "ok by me;" even the rain is strangely fine, since it gives the air that special "wet leaf" smell. And the sunny days! Monday was maybe the nicest day the entire planet has ever seen: sunny and 70, light breeze, leaves covering the entire city. In the afternoon, Ben and I trotted over to a few neighborhood parks to try and feed some crows a loaf of old bread. Unfortunately, the crows proved to be much smarter than both of us, watching us from the trees until we left, then swooping in to collect their bounty. Rascals!

Some photos of Autumnal Heaven:

!


The old rapscallion himself!



These would be a lot more interesting if I weren't the worst photographer in the world.

It's been a week of many small delights. I've taken a few good walks. Ben finally saw "Perfect Strangers" and now (maybe) gets the joke when I do a Balki impression. The alternative weekly papers make me laugh, in a good way. Yesterday Ben and I split a bottle of Chimay Cinq Cents and a wedge of the Chimay cheese, which by itself is enough to make any day good. Today Paul made BLT's and mimosas and we sat around watching The Sopranos, which is how we're filling the void now that we've finished Star Trek: Voyager (they made it back to Earth, by the way. I mean, in case you were wondering.). It's a good show, though automatically a step down since it's not set in space. I'm sorry, but mafia stories can't beat black hole stories... that's just how it is.

Tomorrow I get to spend the day with Anna, and maybe show Portland my Bjork costume. And on Monday I start earning money! Oh happy day(s).

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

AHHHHH TOO CUTE TO HANDLE!!!

R.I.P.

Another biker was killed this week, only 2 weeks after Portland's last fatal bike accident. He was in a bike lane, and wearing a helmet... and it happened pretty close to where I live. You can read the story here, and see a little memorial to him here. He worked at the Bike Gallery (which is where I saw Colin Meloy) and helped me pick out my bike lights when I was in there. Both bikers were crushed by trucks making a turn, and both were way, way, way too young to die (she was 19, he was 31). Ugh :(



Ghost bike memorial for Tracey Sparling



Ghost bike for Brett Jarolimek (both photos are from www.bikeportland.org)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Guy Bites Animals

Anna! Is! Here! Let the Roman-style excess of food and drink begin! She landed yesterday evening, then we went over to Corinn and Kathleen's house. Corinn is "dogsitting" for what appears to be an alien, a muppet, or a deep-sea fish:


+



=



Meet Mosie!!!

He is either the most or least photogenic animal in history:

Everyone loves Mosie!

Today we slept for a good chunk of the day, then went to eat breakfast at 3:00. This is my last week of not-working (ever??), so I have to spend as much time in idleness as possible. Anna's getting ready to go to some haunted house, but I can't go because I get too afraid in fake haunted situations... I can't stand the suspense of knowing that someone's going to jump out at me. I can't take it. Oh, also, I watched an episode of Nova today about epigenetics, and they were talking about how environmental factors (diet, chemical exposure, etc.) that you encounter now may have an influence on the health of the next 2-3 generations in your lineage. This is bad news for my offspring, since I've eaten about a pound of candy corn today. My great-grandchildren will probably be born with diabetes.

Excuse me for the Jerry Seinfeld moment I'm about to have, but... what is the deal with all these vegan chain-smokers?? It seems to be a widespread Portland phenomenon. Way to negate all the health benefits of your diet while simultaneously supporting an industry every bit as evil as the ones you're boycotting!

And on that note, here is a comic (click to enlarge):