Why Nuclear Winter Might Not Be Such a Tragedy After All

Today at Work:

Woman: Hiiiiiiiiii, I'm looking for a movie, I don't know if you have it... ummm.... I don't know exactly what it's called.
Amanda: Ok. Do you--
Woman: Ok, yeah, like, try "I-P-H-I-G-E-N-I-A"
Amanda: (looking) Hmmm. No, it doesn't look like we have that, sorry. I can--
Woman: Nothing even beginning with "I-P-H?" Did you get it right? It's (spells it again, slowly)
Amanda: (looks again) No... sorry, we really don't have it. Let me--
Woman: Well, what's the closest word you have to that? Maybe your database isn't working.
Amanda: The closest... ? No, the database is working. We really just don't have this movie.
Woman: Well, I think it might be broken. Just look up "Woody Allen" to check and make sure it's working.
Amanda: Well... no, ok, see, we can only look up by title. Look, I'll show you (turns monitor so woman can see) -- see? Nothing here.
Woman: So you're telling me there's NOTHING under the letters "I-P-H?" I can't believe that, that's a very common word beginning, how could nothing be under that? (aside: can you think of any English words that start with "iph?" yeah, me either.)
Amanda: Maybe we just don't have the movie?
Woman: The database obviously has something wrong with it, I don't think it works. Just look up "Woody Allen" to make sure it works.
Amanda: Um. No, ahhh, like I said, we ONLY search by specific title. So, typing in "Woody Allen" won't bring anything up. Here, I can search for another title, like--
Woman: Well, I think you need to get a new database. This one doesn't work very well.
Amanda: ... ?
Woman: Do you at least have a Greek section so I can just find the movie myself?
Amanda: Actually, no, we just have--
Woman: You don't have a Greek section???
Amanda: We have Greek movies, but they--
Woman: WHATEVER. Looks like it's time to get Netflix!
Amanda: (dumbfounded silence)

By the way, I looked up the movie after she left, and it's not available. What a surprise!