Portland, Las Vegas, Chicago, Champaign, Dallas, Portland

Two breaking news stories from my office:

1) I had my annual review and my company seems to be under the impression that I'm doing a good job. I'm not sure where this information came from, but who am I to argue? (I suppose that when I go clawing through my drawers for a snack, it might appear as though I'm looking for an important paper.) I also got a generous raise -- look out world, I'm now making $0.24 more per hour! That almost covers the cost of the coffee I now have to make at home every morning since the company switched to the dreaded "Costco Roast."

2) In these hard times, my office has also suspended tea service. Since I need at least 3 hot drinks per day to keep focused, I usually keep my desk fairly well-stocked with several kinds of tea. At this point, it bears mentioning that though my desk would appear to an outsider as a barely-controlled tornado of papers, office supplies, and various foodstuffs -- well, I know exactly where everything is. For example, my publisher notes are right next to the leaking bottle of honey. My post-its are next to my mugs, and the tea is... not there. The tea is not there? Yes, that's right, THE TEA IS NOT THERE BECAUSE SOMEONE STOLE IT FROM MY DESK. Along with my fork.

Once again, I am the hapless victim of Office Crime. As I mentioned briefly before, there was an unfortunate incident of lunch theft, after which I left a sarcastic note on the communal refrigerator, hoping to shame the thief into reforming his/her ways (no lunches have been stolen since). Since passive-agressive notes seem to be the way to go in my office, I saw no reason to change my tactics this time. I drew a skull and crossbones on a post-it, with "DON'T STEAL MY TEA!!" printed underneath in bone-chilling ALL CAPS. It now hangs underneath my new supply of tea, warning any would-be thieves to stay back or pay the price. I have also taken to monitoring people's reactions to the note, to see if they betray any incriminating emotions when they read it. So far, I have it narrowed down to everyone in the entire company, including the CEO (who lives in England).

So, that's what's been going on with me. There's also this:

Wed, Dec 24th, 2008
Depart: 07:10 AM Portland, OR
Arrive: 09:18 AM Las Vegas, NV
Depart: 11:30 AM Las Vegas, NV
Arrive: 05:15 PM Chicago, IL
Depart: 07:25 PM Chicago, IL
Arrive: 08:15 PM Champaign, IL

Total Travel Time: 11 hrs 5 mins

Sun, Jan 4th, 2009
Depart: 06:45 AM Champaign, IL
Arrive: 09:05 AM Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX

Depart: 11:55 AM Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Arrive: 02:10 PM Portland, OR

Total Travel Time: 9 hrs 25 mins

See you then????????????

In which I wax philosophical and come to the same conclusion as fortune cookies everywhere

You know, it's odd. Sometimes very basic things about life suddenly surprise me, and I mean that in a Successories poster type of way. I learn these life lessons (did you know, for example, that life is what you make of it?), wonder why nobody ever told me before, then realize that, actually, everybody told me, and that I had to learn it for myself. <--- That is also a life lesson. So the next time you see a cliche printed next to a photo of a soaring eagle, you might try taking it to heart. It's ok, I swear. And why would an eagle lie?

Anyway, this kinda lame thing happened. Since I am young, I am still under the impression that "that won't happen to me!", "that" of course signifying "anything bad, ever." I have to remain pretty esoteric here, but I will say that a big chunk of my history recently dissolved into thin air. As that one dude (ok, Shakespeare) once said: "These violent delights have violent ends." Yeah, no joke. But as that other dude (ok, Rilke) once said, "Oh disobedient world, full of refusal. And yet it breathes the space in which the stars revolve." Or, if you prefer: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Hey, they may be onto something here! Because the same world that gives us loss also gives us contellations, the ability to make cheese, new leather boots (oh, yeah!) and, like, one gazillion wonderful people that I haven't even met yet. Cheese, boots, friends, stars. And lemonade. Bring it on, let's go.

On my windowsill, one of the previous occupants of this room wrote, "Yes, you can." I find this oddly touching and inspirational. It's just a dumb phrase, scrawled in pencil, but I look at it often, because it's good to be reminded. So when I clumsily post the equivalent of, "Life good! Life good! Life good!" it is a reminder to me and to you. Because if I need to hear it, then surely you do too, sometimes. So, internet: LIFE GOOD. And, also: yes, you can. So there! Now no one can say they were never told.

And now, for your enjoyment, here are some photos.

We pitied the person who had to answer the phone at this insurance agency.

Why, this is a portable hood! I call it "Porta-hood." I wish to be buried in it.

I keep my positive outlook by eating chocolate tarts and cider for lunch.

How I spent my Halloween!

High fives all around

After 2 weeks of absence, I bring you this important update:

THESE ARE THE CUTEST MITTENS IN THE WORLD!!!!!