Honk if you love editors

It's my birthday week! That means I get to do whatever I want all week (as opposed to other weeks, when I am the epitome of self-restraint), which so far means reading new poetry books and guzzling wine on the balcony (again, in great contrast to other weeks). And today, it means that I get to blog about grammatical errors!

My mom was telling me awhile ago that one of her friends had recently published a children's book, and she said, "See, anybody can get published." Unfortunately, this is true. I keep this file at work with all of the literary blunders I come across (because I'm strange, okay?), and it's kind of unreal. Sometimes I want to write hate mail to the publishers. Today I saw "illicit" used in place of "elicit" in the first paragraph of a book on how to create professional presentations. These words are not interchangeable. Are you sure you're qualified to help me create a presentation? Still, thanks for the laugh. I've also learned that my favorite cliche opening is actually quite popular among people who write introductions for books; that is, "Since ____, humankind has ______." "Since the dawn of time, humankind has searched for meaning." You don't say?! I never thought about it that way before. Or, my favorite, straight from a biology textbook: "Since the beginning of civilization, man has been entranced by the sea." Oh, really? Do you have a source for that bold statement? Sheesh, people.

I think I might have posted this before, but this calls for my favorite Dinosaur Comic ever:


Oh also! It was this guy's birthday yesterday, so if you see him reading poetry and guzzling wine, it's okay because it's his birthday week, too (actually, if you see him doing that, you should probably be concerned).

Yeah, I know.

Bildungsroman (or: Look at the Useless Vocabulary Word I Learned in College)

So, it occurs to me that I've been here for just over a year now.

Last week I was downtown during the day for a doctor's appointment (an eye infection, I'm fine) and I had a bit of time to kill beforehand, so I stopped at Stumptown and had some coffee and a scone before heading off. It'd been so long since I'd been anywhere except work at that time of day, and I was struck by a weird feeling of deja vu, remembering the day I'd arrived back in Portland after being in Seattle -- wandering, walking around the city, thinking about the possibilities, being pleased with things. I knew I'd blogged about that day at some point, so when I got home that evening I searched for the entry, which just so happened to be... exactly a year ago to the day. It was a strange coincidence that really had no meaning, but at the same time sent me on one of those sentimental trips down memory lane that I'm so fond of indulging in.

So, as I mentioned, it occurs to me that I've been here for just over a year now. Right now, I can't decide whether to type "it feels like I just got here," or "it feels like I've always been here," so I'll write both and try not to think about it too hard. What I do know is that this has been one of the most exciting and fulfilling years of my life. I know this blog is already an exercise in self-congratulatory excess, but can I just pat myself on the back for a few more seconds? This year has been hard, in almost every kind of way. I lost things. Things got taken away. And the years before that weren't so smooth, either. (Remember 2006? Yeah, me too.) I remember feeling so good when I got here, and that feeling hasn't gone away. How can it not have gone away?! I blog about spilling things on myself, or going to nickel arcades, or missing the bus, but between these entries are things (some small, some big) that have been quietly shaping me. Most of these things will never be written about. All I can say is that I'm proud of myself, and I'm happy with the way things are going. It's not like I've accomplished anything huge, but at the same time I've accomplished more than I ever knew I was capable of. Arghhh! I wish I were more eloquent... how to explain? I guess: things aren't perfect, but they don't need to be. Yeah, that's about right.

So, please bear with me, because I can't seem to shut up about Portland, or running, or local food, or new recipes, or new friends or new music or just feeling good and fine and happy. Happy anniversary, Amanda and Portland! I wouldn't trade this year for anything. But I think Robert Ryan puts it best:

Berry Punny

I AM IN BERRY HEAVEN.

The one great part about my job (aside from the fact that they pay me to go there) is the unexpected appearance of a giant row of blackberry bushes near the road by my office. What looked like a giant patch of tangly weeds suddently began producing delicious berries! While our coworkers sit motionless in their cubicles, my friend Travis and I have been using our breaks to harvest berries in the sun. Today I came home with 2 big tupperware containers full, an amount that probably would have cost... over $10 at the farmer's market? Ha ha! I keep meaning to make a cobbler or something, but I stuff them down my gullet so fast that so far it's been impossible. Right now I'm enjoying them with some sparkling wine!

In other news, the other day I got jalepeno oil on my eye. I was making some Vietnamese food, and I'd picked up some jalepenos at the farmer's market (no salmonella for me!) that were labeled "mild," so I wanted to see exactly how spicy they were before I put them in the food. Uh, they were really freakin' spicy. Like a fool I picked up a tiny piece with my fingers and ate it, setting my entire mouth on fire. After trying in vain to cool the fire within, I washed my hands thoroughly... or so I thought. At some point I must have rubbed my eye, because I began noticing a sharp pain on my eyelid, which quickly escalated into a 4-alarm fire that could not be stopped. Boy, I wish you could have been there. With a swollen up eyelid, I did a frantic one-eyed internet search to see what I could use to stop the burning; I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but milk products are basically the only thing that can cool jalepeno fires. Unfortunately for me, I've been eating vegan (for a fun experiment, not forever... more later on this?), so there were no milk products to be found in my home. "The Internet" recommended oil or vinegar as solutions if no milk products were on hand, so I desperately smeared both on my burning eyelid, only to have the terrible fire intensify. At this point, I would also like to mention that the original fire in my mouth had never really gone away, and my lips were swollen to Angelina Jolie proportions. After the fire had cooled, I actually admired my mouth in the mirror and wished I had somewhere to go.

Luckily for me, I remembered that Corinn had left a yogurt parfait in the back of the refrigerator (we had a brunch at our house last weekend). I say "luckily" because this meant that the burning in my eye could be stopped, though it also meant smearing a slightly spoiled, crusty handful of yogurt and granola all over my eyelid. Again, I wish you could have been there. To make a long story short (too late!), the yogurt worked, and I'm fine now. Also, the food I was making turned out to be, uh, out of this world, so I guess it was worth it.

Stories for later:
How I Got Shot With a Supersoaker by a Car Full of Teenagers (On My Way to a Date)
How Someone at Work Stole My Lunch & I Put a Childish Note on the Refrig. to Shame Them

Happiness, sappiness

Dear Internet,

I know it's been awhile. The thing is, I'm really happy, and it takes up all my time! And now it's been so long that I don't know where to start. So, you know:

Biking around, going to 2 farmer's markets a week, walking around town and eating a pint of blueberries, beer fests, mountains, 75 degree days, tapas, brunch, the waffle stand, cooking elaborate dinners for myself, running 5 miles a day, growing my own herbs, reading 4 books at once, listening to the Besnard Lakes album until I get sick of it (not yet), new bands, new people, finding furniture on the curb and dragging it home, eating tacos with Anna, street fairs, margarita tents, biking to get the Sunday Times, getting up early, finding a blackberry bush, picnics, parks, happy hours, kiddie pools, bbqs, fun sunshine rainbows unicorns happiness!!!

I'm having a blast, not really because anything special's happening, but just because. I guess you could say that Portland agrees with me. The fact that I walk around with a smile on my face all day, even when my job is getting boring and I miss my old friends -- well, that's a wonderful thing. And the fact that things will only get better and happier -- well, golly! The only thing I don't like right now is my haircut, but you know, that'll grow out.

Summertime, and the livin' is... 45 degrees-y

It's June 10th, and we have the heat on. Today I wore gloves, a down vest, and a scarf! I actually don't really mind it, especially since I know what the alternative is, but still... it's June 10th. I guess it all works out, since the 10 hours a week I used to spend complaining about the heat in Urbana has now been changed into the 10 hours a week I use to commute to and from work. (You know, like that one law of the universe that says matter can neither be created nor destroyed.) Anyway, it's supposed to start being sunny and 75 on Thursday, so I may finally get to put away my scarf and realize my summer dreams, which, at this point all sort of resemble things that happened in Country Time Lemonade commercials. See you at the old fishin' hole!

Since I left you

Things I missed about Oregon when I was in Illinois:







Things I miss about Illinois, now that I'm back:

not pictured: Alex Bass.

Oh Portland, I've missed you.

Pygmy goat boards a TriMet bus

At approximately 9:45 p.m. last night, an unattended pygmy goat walked on a Line 14- Hawthorne bus. The bus was on layover at SE 94th and Foster and the operator was standing outside her bus with the doors open. The operator was concerned because of the freeway nearby and busy street traffic, and closed the bus doors. She immediately called dispatch and TriMet’s dispatch called 911. A Portland Police Officer responded and transported the goat. The 35-pound goat was wearing a nylon collar.

Broken ankles -- so hot right now!

Never a dull moment. I injured my ankle running last week; I thought it would get better, but it continued to swell and bruise until I finally gave in and spent a magical Friday evening in the urgent care ward at the hospital. My self-diagnosis going in was, "Uh, this might be a stress fracture, but I'm not sure"; after 2 hours in the hospital, I finally received the official diagnosis of, "Uh, this might be a stress fracture, but I'm not sure." In any case, I got to have an x-ray and see a picture of my own fibula, which was kind of exciting for me. (Isn't it kind of weird that there are bones inside of you?) Anyway, there's no obvious break in my ankle, but stress fractures can't really be seen without an (expensive) MRI, so we'll probably never know. For the next few weeks I have to wear this boot-like ankle brace, which will hopefully mend my ankle well enough that I'll be able to avoid the dreaded full-leg cast. Unfortunately, the brace makes me limp even more noticeably than before. I was even mocked by a group of junior high kids as I walked home from the hospital, which was so ludicrous that I actually laughed out loud when it happened. Why don't you just tie tin cans to my ankles and throw rocks at me already?

bus woe.

Man, I missed the bus again. Why must a 5:42 am bus run 5 minutes early? And why must it speed away as I run after it, yelling? And why did I even run after it, after all we've talked about? So this is what it's come to -- blogging at 6 am.

How are you this morning?

postcards from the edge

Dear Everyone,

Hello. How are you? I am fine. I will update soon. I am in the first stages of carpal tunnel, so I've had to stay off the computer. I have some wrist braces now, they are very elegant. Sometime this week I will post photos from my trip to Los Angeles. You will get to hear all about my sunburnt neck. We will have fun!

your friend,
Amanda