It turns out that moving is humbling. People ask me what I do all day, and the real answer is this: I get rejected, from everything, over and over and over again. The job situation can basically be summed up by the fact that I heard a worker at Ikea talking about how he has a Master's degree. He was helping people choose mattresses.
Hey, remember how I used to work in a video store for six years? One funny thing (minus the funny part) is that I even got rejected for part-time work at a video store! I took my resume there because they had a "Help Wanted" sign, and I thought it would be sort of a fun back-up job. I didn't even get an interview! I guess I better start working on my Doctorate so I can maybe get a few hours at a gas station.
Luckily, there is Rilke for such times:
"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
Luckily, there is also this video for such times:
Monday, September 03, 2007
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Mai Tai Mai Tai
I finally had a real weekend of going out in Portland, and luckily it began with a trip to a tiki bar. "Thatch" ended up being a fantastic little place with a real working stream inside and an awesome playlist of 50's surf music. Not surprisingly, lots of middle-aged men in bowling shirts hang out there. Pictured is a $28 drink called a Volcano Bowl which, as you can see, is on fire. Ben later got something called a "Donkey Punch," which consisted of 151, cherry brandy, and a splash of soda water. He claimed that it was tasty, but I think it was the Volcano Bowl talking.
Last night, we went to Amnesia with Paul, and I was finally able to meet a few nice new people. This hotshot hairdresser from L.A. was harping on one of the girls for getting cheap haircuts; he gestured to me and said, "Now see, her haircut looks great, it's perfect for her face!" I think I ruined his life when I revealed that my "perfect" haircut was actually a $12 job from Great Clips. Punk'd!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Apocalypse Now
THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!
I have joined Netflix. Moreover, I think I might ask it to be my boyfriend. For a mere $17 per month, I can have as many movies as I want, with up to 3 out at once. As soon as I send one back, they automatically send me the next one on my list. Is this the greatest thing ever, or have I been brainwashed by an evil corporation? But guys, they have everything. I'm even able to save movies that aren't out on dvd yet, and they'll send them to me as soon as they are. And the movie recommendation engine is so accurate that it's creeping me out. I feel really guilty, but I think I might be in love.
Okay, but before you drag me to the lynching tree, I also want to let everyone know that I've already bought a block of movies at my local video store (Video Verite, which is wonderful), and I plan to rent there often. They've got a great selection and very fair prices, though it's weird to be on the other side of the counter. I also have a hard time finding movies, because I'm so used to the classification system at Rentertainment, and, of course, none of their movies are only $1... no 3 for $6, no daily specials, and no 100 for $100 (which, unfortunately, makes renting a tv show disc-by-disc prohibitively expensive). They also don't have everything I want, though it's probably unfair to expect that. So, I'm sort of supplementing the movies I get from Video Verite with my Netflix queue; hopefully it'll keep me happy and buried in movies. I guess I've been spoiled by Rentertainment! I miss Kells, the Uribes, and that guy who used to talk about Michael Haneke with me.
I'm having a good time, but I'm also pretty lonely and homesick. I miss my boring life in my old one-horse town! The coffee here sure is good, though.
I have joined Netflix. Moreover, I think I might ask it to be my boyfriend. For a mere $17 per month, I can have as many movies as I want, with up to 3 out at once. As soon as I send one back, they automatically send me the next one on my list. Is this the greatest thing ever, or have I been brainwashed by an evil corporation? But guys, they have everything. I'm even able to save movies that aren't out on dvd yet, and they'll send them to me as soon as they are. And the movie recommendation engine is so accurate that it's creeping me out. I feel really guilty, but I think I might be in love.
Okay, but before you drag me to the lynching tree, I also want to let everyone know that I've already bought a block of movies at my local video store (Video Verite, which is wonderful), and I plan to rent there often. They've got a great selection and very fair prices, though it's weird to be on the other side of the counter. I also have a hard time finding movies, because I'm so used to the classification system at Rentertainment, and, of course, none of their movies are only $1... no 3 for $6, no daily specials, and no 100 for $100 (which, unfortunately, makes renting a tv show disc-by-disc prohibitively expensive). They also don't have everything I want, though it's probably unfair to expect that. So, I'm sort of supplementing the movies I get from Video Verite with my Netflix queue; hopefully it'll keep me happy and buried in movies. I guess I've been spoiled by Rentertainment! I miss Kells, the Uribes, and that guy who used to talk about Michael Haneke with me.
I'm having a good time, but I'm also pretty lonely and homesick. I miss my boring life in my old one-horse town! The coffee here sure is good, though.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Silent "S"
Oregon, please learn how to pronounce "Illinois."
Also on wishlist:
1) job
2) apartment
3) friends
Also on wishlist:
1) job
2) apartment
3) friends
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Old Growth
It's my birthday! Ahhhhhh! (26!)
Here's where I am right now:
I'm in Redwood National Park, right at the top of northern California. You may also know it as the Ewok Village from "Return of the Jedi" (really!) I also can't stop humming the theme from "Jurassic Park."
These trees are 1500 years old. That blue in the distance? The freakin' Pacific.
We're 300 feet tall! Yaaaay!
For scale: that stump is 10 feet tall. My head hits at the very bottom of the ferns.
Ben inside a giant burned-out redwood
I wish I had a better picture of this... these are giant, cloud-covered bluffs. Those tiny things at the bottom are fairly large tents. This is where we cooked and ate dinner a few night ago... it's spectacular.
Oh yeah, and...
... this is where I was a few days ago: the Sonoma Valley. Wine country! We spent a day going from winery to winery, doing tastings and nibbling on cheese. We camped out that night in the hilly country around Sonoma lake. I thought I knew what stars looked like, but when it got dark, I realized I was wrong; people, I saw the Milky Way! It was just right there, for anyone to see! I'm sorry, but I don't think Illinois stars will ever cut it again. As if it couldn't get any more ridiculous, there was also a meteor shower that night. I don't even know what to say, it was one of those things I'll probably be muttering about when I'm old.
To reiterate:
THIS IS WHERE I AM. Right now. This is just across the street. But, but, but... oh, if only I could teleport back to Urbana, just for a day! Just for an hour at Murphy's! I'm missing everyone so much right now... not even the Pacific makes up for it.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
California <3
California.
On Thursday I had my 20 hour train voyage (we were delayed for 2 hours). It was excellent, actually... I was mad when I had to get off the train. I had my own tiny room, so I just read and looked out the window and listened to music, and nobody bothered me. The scenery was beyond insane (the most spectacular waterfalls I've ever seen, rain forests, cliffs, mountain vistas, tunnels through mountains) and I had some really good "what does it all mean?" moments. These moments were encouraged by the aforementioned 4 giant beers that I had in my carry-on bag, which go very well with tear-inducing scenery.
Here's my "cabin." Hal-9000 included in each private room!
Sleeping on a train is nearly impossible... it's like being strapped to a missile, actually. Instead, I started taking self-portraits:
This is a photo of me on the retractable top bunk of my cabin. Seconds later, I tried to take a photo while hanging upside down, with nearly fatal results. An attempted photo while standing on my head had similarly tragic results.
Ben's friend Mike lives in Oakland, so we've been staying there since Thursday and visiting the city during the day. San Francisco is basically another planet. Here's a tiki bar that we went to one night in Oakland. It had a gyrating hula girl statue and a giant volcano that spewed dry ice:
Here's Robert Hass's office door in Berkeley. Yeah, I actually took a photo of this. Robert Hass, please never google yourself and find this page.
Last night we ate at this French restaurant named Gregoire... it's mainly a take-out place, but there are a few tables. I loved it because it's lovely, fancy French food, served by... well, just a couple of dudes. We ate in paper take-away boxes with plastic silverware out on the sidewalk. We brought this Sicilian wine that Lucio had given us when he visited, and it was outstanding:
Last but not least, this is dedicated to every Rentertainment employee. It's Gaylord's! Bluuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhh.
I'm off to camp in wine country!
On Thursday I had my 20 hour train voyage (we were delayed for 2 hours). It was excellent, actually... I was mad when I had to get off the train. I had my own tiny room, so I just read and looked out the window and listened to music, and nobody bothered me. The scenery was beyond insane (the most spectacular waterfalls I've ever seen, rain forests, cliffs, mountain vistas, tunnels through mountains) and I had some really good "what does it all mean?" moments. These moments were encouraged by the aforementioned 4 giant beers that I had in my carry-on bag, which go very well with tear-inducing scenery.
Here's my "cabin." Hal-9000 included in each private room!
Sleeping on a train is nearly impossible... it's like being strapped to a missile, actually. Instead, I started taking self-portraits:
This is a photo of me on the retractable top bunk of my cabin. Seconds later, I tried to take a photo while hanging upside down, with nearly fatal results. An attempted photo while standing on my head had similarly tragic results.
Ben's friend Mike lives in Oakland, so we've been staying there since Thursday and visiting the city during the day. San Francisco is basically another planet. Here's a tiki bar that we went to one night in Oakland. It had a gyrating hula girl statue and a giant volcano that spewed dry ice:
Here's Robert Hass's office door in Berkeley. Yeah, I actually took a photo of this. Robert Hass, please never google yourself and find this page.
Last night we ate at this French restaurant named Gregoire... it's mainly a take-out place, but there are a few tables. I loved it because it's lovely, fancy French food, served by... well, just a couple of dudes. We ate in paper take-away boxes with plastic silverware out on the sidewalk. We brought this Sicilian wine that Lucio had given us when he visited, and it was outstanding:
Last but not least, this is dedicated to every Rentertainment employee. It's Gaylord's! Bluuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhh.
I'm off to camp in wine country!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
I'm le tired. Today I decided I wanted to go to OMSI to see BodyWorlds, because everyone who's ever gone to see it before has said it was incredible. No joke, this is pretty much the greatest thing I've ever seen, and I'm pretty sure that every other person at the exhibit was thinking the same thing. Basically, this guy developed a new way of preserving bodies (they take out all the fluids and replace them with some sort of plastic), and you get to see every part of the body, up close, and learn how it works and interacts with other parts around it. It was so interesting! Have you ever seen your spleen before? Or an entire nervous system, or all of the arteries in your foot? I kind of think that everybody should be forced to see this, because then no one would ever do anything to harm their bodies again (especially after seeing a real full-body cross-section of a man who died of obesity-related complications). It was a pretty far walk from my hostel, so the entire way back, I just kept thinking about what leg muscles look like and picturing a knee joint extending over and over again... oh my god, I'm made of meat and bones!
I'd been walking around for about 6 hours, so after BodyWorlds I needed to sit down. I found a theater that was showing "Broken English," then bought a bratwurst from a German food stand and smuggled it inside. What is up with these theaters, and why are they so great? This one was a place called "The Living Room," which had a full-service lounge attached to it. You could order wine or little nibbles from the lounge, and they'd bring it into the theater for you. All the seats in the theater were basically little mini-recliners. Also, the movie was only $4.50. I'm in heaven!!!!
Afterwards, I went walking again, trying to find this stationary store where Al Gore apparently goes to get personalized stationary. I love Al Gore, and I love stationary, but mainly I just love spending money on stupid things when I have no job. (Un)fortunately, I never found it, but I did come across a Whole Foods store, my first ever! I know that everyone else on earth has already been there zillions of times, so pardon my naive enthusiasm when I ask, "Have you seen the produce section in this place?!?" No wilted strawberries in these aisles, no my brother! Ahahaha!! I ended up buying a few things for my train journey tomorrow, just in case the food is inedible. By "a few things" I mainly just mean 4 giant beers.
I walked around for 8 hours today, so I'm ready for 18 hours of sitting tomorrow. See you in California!
I'd been walking around for about 6 hours, so after BodyWorlds I needed to sit down. I found a theater that was showing "Broken English," then bought a bratwurst from a German food stand and smuggled it inside. What is up with these theaters, and why are they so great? This one was a place called "The Living Room," which had a full-service lounge attached to it. You could order wine or little nibbles from the lounge, and they'd bring it into the theater for you. All the seats in the theater were basically little mini-recliners. Also, the movie was only $4.50. I'm in heaven!!!!
Afterwards, I went walking again, trying to find this stationary store where Al Gore apparently goes to get personalized stationary. I love Al Gore, and I love stationary, but mainly I just love spending money on stupid things when I have no job. (Un)fortunately, I never found it, but I did come across a Whole Foods store, my first ever! I know that everyone else on earth has already been there zillions of times, so pardon my naive enthusiasm when I ask, "Have you seen the produce section in this place?!?" No wilted strawberries in these aisles, no my brother! Ahahaha!! I ended up buying a few things for my train journey tomorrow, just in case the food is inedible. By "a few things" I mainly just mean 4 giant beers.
I walked around for 8 hours today, so I'm ready for 18 hours of sitting tomorrow. See you in California!
LOLLERZ of the day:
(written on the paper wrapper of a croissant from Starbucks)
"Flavors my senses. Sweetens my disposition. Stirs my imagination. Nourishes my dreams..."
Who knew that one croissant was capable of so much!??!? It was pretty good, though.
Tomorrow I'm leaving on the train for old Californiee -- a 17 h 45 m journey (best case scenario, since this train apparently is legendary for having delays of up to 9 hours). I sprung for a sleeper car, because the thought of being trapped next to a talker or an infant for 18 hours made me break out in a cold sweat. I'm really excited... my own tiny room! I think meals are also included, though the sandwich I ate on the train back from Seattle was really, definitely, absolutely the worst thing I've ever eaten, so this isn't really a great bonus. I think I'm really just going to California so I have an excuse to read for 18 straight hours.
Man, Urbana, it appears you have a heat index of 104 right now. It's 67 here. Maybe I don't miss you as much as I thought I did!
(written on the paper wrapper of a croissant from Starbucks)
"Flavors my senses. Sweetens my disposition. Stirs my imagination. Nourishes my dreams..."
Who knew that one croissant was capable of so much!??!? It was pretty good, though.
Tomorrow I'm leaving on the train for old Californiee -- a 17 h 45 m journey (best case scenario, since this train apparently is legendary for having delays of up to 9 hours). I sprung for a sleeper car, because the thought of being trapped next to a talker or an infant for 18 hours made me break out in a cold sweat. I'm really excited... my own tiny room! I think meals are also included, though the sandwich I ate on the train back from Seattle was really, definitely, absolutely the worst thing I've ever eaten, so this isn't really a great bonus. I think I'm really just going to California so I have an excuse to read for 18 straight hours.
Man, Urbana, it appears you have a heat index of 104 right now. It's 67 here. Maybe I don't miss you as much as I thought I did!
Monday, August 06, 2007
What's (been) Happening
I'm having such a nice day.
This morning I set off from Seattle at about 5:30 in order to take my bus down to the Amtrak station, then caught the train at 7:30. The trains had been out of service all weekend because of some hairline fractures in the cars, but apparently they salvaged some old cars from the Amtrak junkyard (note: this is not a joke) and put them back on the line for Monday's route. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, though the bathrooms were all mostly out of service and there was a slight air conditioning problem. All in all, though... nice; the train wasn't sold out, so I was able to sit by myself, I had a lovely view of Puget Sound, and I finished "A Handmaid's Tale."
I got in at about 12:00, walked a grueling mile back to the hostel (I NEED TO PACK LESS), then poked around until 2:00 while my room was being prepared. I walked down to Powell's and bought a few more books, since I am always unsatisfied with the 5 or 6 that I'm already carrying around. Bought a new hoodie at American Apparel because I was chilly. While I was walking around, Paul (new roommate) called, and we ended up meeting for dinner. He is fantastic! We got along fabulously and had such a fun time together; I'm so excited to be living with him, because he seems like he'll turn into a good friend. I made a friend! Hey Portland, I have a friend! On the way back, I talked to Anna on the phone... only a month until she gets here! Then I'll have TWO friends!
After Paul left, I walked around downtown for awhile, then headed back to my hostel. On the walk home, I passed by a theater called "Mission Theater" that was getting ready to show "Waitress," so I went inside because I didn't really have anything else to do. This turned out to be a fine choice, because it was also a bar. I have long heard the legends of these mythical theaters that also serve beer, but I've never had the good fortune to patronize one until tonight... could this be my new passion? Anyway, "Waitress" was cute (though I felt so sad at times because of Adrienne Shelley's terrible death) and I felt very contented sitting there by myself, enjoying a fine amber ale. After it ended, I strolled aimlessly about the neighborhood, feeing very happy in my new city. I think my life will be nice here. This is the first time I've ever been alone in a city (or really anywhere, except Urbana) but I'm feeling at home.
I'm sitting in the hostel now. I ended up having to stay in the co-ed dorm, and when I returned from my evening jaunt (~9:30) I found a 40-ish man already in bed, snoring. Geoff, was that you? Are you playing a trick on me? Want to go to Murphy's tomorrow?
It occurs to me that I never updated about Seattle! I don't want to be unkind, but Portland kicks Seattle's ass! The entire time I was there, I was filled with the beginnings of civic pride. I really have no business making sweeping generalizations about either city, but I just felt like Portland's character far outweighed Seattle's, which was a bit yuppie for my taste. That said, I had a hilarious time there. In case you were thinking about visiting Kenzie sometime: DO IT. World's best hostess!!!!!! 4 Day Trip summary:
Small mishap with bus system. Science-Fiction Museum, Pacific Science Center (highlight: watching two IMAX movies in a row), monorail, Skee-Ball at a small city fair, Washington's version of Murphy's. Ate at Red Hook Brewery and took tour where we were given unbelievable amounts of free beer. The tour guide tried to become Kenzie's boyfriend. Went to wine tasting at winery across the street. Went to see "Sunshine," which was disappointing. Saw "The Number 23," which was terrible. Went to the farmer's market, bought giant bags of fresh seafood and vegetables. Cooked feast. Ate best cake of all time, made with Bailey's. Copious amounts of gossiping, probably about you.
Photos!
I've chosen to post the best photo first. Yes, this is a self portrait of me at the Science Fiction Museum, in front of the model used in Deep Space Nine. Keep in mind that I'd been standing in the rain for roughly 2 hours prior to this, though that probably still doesn't account for the expression on my face. Seconds later, I was chided by a security guard for taking photos inside the museum. What the hell is the purpose of a place like this if you can't take pictures? As a result, there's no photos of me in front of an authentic Borg costume, which I'm angry about.
Fortunately, I was also able to take a photo of this: the Holy Grail from Indiana Jones! Wait, this is what all that drama was for? It sort of looks like the gold is sponge painted on. Oh my god, it is!
This is my spycam photo of the Blue Angels, who were doing a show in town that weekend. Obviously, I should be a photographer.
What's going on here? This photo isn't even that bad. This is us at the Columbia winery.
I told you Kenzie was a good host. What are you still doing in Illinois? Get out here, come on!
This morning I set off from Seattle at about 5:30 in order to take my bus down to the Amtrak station, then caught the train at 7:30. The trains had been out of service all weekend because of some hairline fractures in the cars, but apparently they salvaged some old cars from the Amtrak junkyard (note: this is not a joke) and put them back on the line for Monday's route. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, though the bathrooms were all mostly out of service and there was a slight air conditioning problem. All in all, though... nice; the train wasn't sold out, so I was able to sit by myself, I had a lovely view of Puget Sound, and I finished "A Handmaid's Tale."
I got in at about 12:00, walked a grueling mile back to the hostel (I NEED TO PACK LESS), then poked around until 2:00 while my room was being prepared. I walked down to Powell's and bought a few more books, since I am always unsatisfied with the 5 or 6 that I'm already carrying around. Bought a new hoodie at American Apparel because I was chilly. While I was walking around, Paul (new roommate) called, and we ended up meeting for dinner. He is fantastic! We got along fabulously and had such a fun time together; I'm so excited to be living with him, because he seems like he'll turn into a good friend. I made a friend! Hey Portland, I have a friend! On the way back, I talked to Anna on the phone... only a month until she gets here! Then I'll have TWO friends!
After Paul left, I walked around downtown for awhile, then headed back to my hostel. On the walk home, I passed by a theater called "Mission Theater" that was getting ready to show "Waitress," so I went inside because I didn't really have anything else to do. This turned out to be a fine choice, because it was also a bar. I have long heard the legends of these mythical theaters that also serve beer, but I've never had the good fortune to patronize one until tonight... could this be my new passion? Anyway, "Waitress" was cute (though I felt so sad at times because of Adrienne Shelley's terrible death) and I felt very contented sitting there by myself, enjoying a fine amber ale. After it ended, I strolled aimlessly about the neighborhood, feeing very happy in my new city. I think my life will be nice here. This is the first time I've ever been alone in a city (or really anywhere, except Urbana) but I'm feeling at home.
I'm sitting in the hostel now. I ended up having to stay in the co-ed dorm, and when I returned from my evening jaunt (~9:30) I found a 40-ish man already in bed, snoring. Geoff, was that you? Are you playing a trick on me? Want to go to Murphy's tomorrow?
It occurs to me that I never updated about Seattle! I don't want to be unkind, but Portland kicks Seattle's ass! The entire time I was there, I was filled with the beginnings of civic pride. I really have no business making sweeping generalizations about either city, but I just felt like Portland's character far outweighed Seattle's, which was a bit yuppie for my taste. That said, I had a hilarious time there. In case you were thinking about visiting Kenzie sometime: DO IT. World's best hostess!!!!!! 4 Day Trip summary:
Small mishap with bus system. Science-Fiction Museum, Pacific Science Center (highlight: watching two IMAX movies in a row), monorail, Skee-Ball at a small city fair, Washington's version of Murphy's. Ate at Red Hook Brewery and took tour where we were given unbelievable amounts of free beer. The tour guide tried to become Kenzie's boyfriend. Went to wine tasting at winery across the street. Went to see "Sunshine," which was disappointing. Saw "The Number 23," which was terrible. Went to the farmer's market, bought giant bags of fresh seafood and vegetables. Cooked feast. Ate best cake of all time, made with Bailey's. Copious amounts of gossiping, probably about you.
Photos!
I've chosen to post the best photo first. Yes, this is a self portrait of me at the Science Fiction Museum, in front of the model used in Deep Space Nine. Keep in mind that I'd been standing in the rain for roughly 2 hours prior to this, though that probably still doesn't account for the expression on my face. Seconds later, I was chided by a security guard for taking photos inside the museum. What the hell is the purpose of a place like this if you can't take pictures? As a result, there's no photos of me in front of an authentic Borg costume, which I'm angry about.
Fortunately, I was also able to take a photo of this: the Holy Grail from Indiana Jones! Wait, this is what all that drama was for? It sort of looks like the gold is sponge painted on. Oh my god, it is!
This is my spycam photo of the Blue Angels, who were doing a show in town that weekend. Obviously, I should be a photographer.
What's going on here? This photo isn't even that bad. This is us at the Columbia winery.
I told you Kenzie was a good host. What are you still doing in Illinois? Get out here, come on!
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