Camping is over!! I took a shower!!
I feel sort of bad for Ben, because camping with me must have been the most annoying experience of his life. It's really not that I even hate camping; I don't mind sleeping in the tent, I don't mind bathing in the river, I don't mind eating camp food, and I actually really love hiking. Some spiders got on me, and I only screamed once. Unfortunately, I forgot all about the good experiences every night when it got dark. You might not have realized this, but: a) I'm really, truly afraid of the dark, and b) it gets insanely dark in the Oregon woods. Needless to say, I became annoying after sunset every evening, and began going to sleep at sundown just so I wouldn't have to huddle around the fire in paranoia.** Because, of course, you never know when the rocks might rise up and stone you to death in the night. Also, serial killers are actually shape-shifters who take the form of old stumps every night. No matter how many times you shine your flashlight on them, they will remain in stump form, but don't be fooled -- they're coming to get you.
But anyway, I'm in Seattle now, safe and sound. I arrived this evening, and Kenzie picked me up, took me to dinner, and showed me around the Microsoft complex (which is pretty much a small city). The train ride up was pretty uneventful, and the scenery was nice. The woman sitting next to me spent pretty much the entirety of the 3 hour ride applying make-up, and even managed to somehow paint her nails. I was somewhat curious about why she was doing this, but she was obviously a big talker and I wasn't about to start any sort of conversation with her (I know this because she managed to tell me that she had rheumatoid arthritis even though I had headphones on). Luckily, the woman across from us asked her some sort of question, so I got to passively eavesdrop on them while pretending to listen to music; it turns out that she was meeting one of her ex-boyfriends from 30 years ago. They dated when she was 20 (she's 50 now), and hadn't seen each other since, but she had a dream about him last month so she looked him up and he invited her for a visit. Odd!
**re: the fire... the only joy of having night fall, of course, was the treat of getting to sit around a nice fire. Unfortunately, one night a rock in the center of the fire got too hot and exploded, sending flaming wood and hot embers everywhere. I am now almost as afraid of campfires as I am of the dark.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
True Colors
I just spent kind of a long time looking for a Portland-based Star Trek club. I know it's a lot harder to be the least cool person in a city of 500,000 than in a town of 30,000, but I'm trying my best.
Ok, but seriously: did you know that Robert Picardo (the doctor from Voyager) also played the gym teacher in "The Wonder Years"? Hahahahahaha:
He was also the voice of the Johnnycab in "Total Recall". Robert Picardo is surely the finest actor of his generation!
I'm sure you're all comforted by the fact that I'm basically still living the same exact life, even halfway across the country. I'm definitely getting to know my new city by sitting inside cafes and using Google Image.
Ok, but seriously: did you know that Robert Picardo (the doctor from Voyager) also played the gym teacher in "The Wonder Years"? Hahahahahaha:
He was also the voice of the Johnnycab in "Total Recall". Robert Picardo is surely the finest actor of his generation!
I'm sure you're all comforted by the fact that I'm basically still living the same exact life, even halfway across the country. I'm definitely getting to know my new city by sitting inside cafes and using Google Image.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
I have arrived!
What a dump Oregon is! It's been an interesting transition so far... not only does the big city have me terrified, but I still can't quite get over the drastic change in scenery. Since Ben drove, he had a chance to get used to the changing landscapes, but I was basically put in a magical flying machine and transported from flatness to mountain-world in only a few hours. In particular, the winding mountain roads have taken about 30 or 40 years off my life, since I've never known anything except a basic grid pattern where every surrounding town is visible on the horizon. The past few days could basically be summarized as, "OH MY GOD SLOW DOWN WE'RE GOING TO DIE."
We've been camping since Sunday. It's beautiful and my muscles are always confused when I try to walk up an incline because they have no idea what that feels like. I've been enjoying it, though it hasn't been without hardships -- I've named our campsite "Spider Alley," so you can probably guess some of the "hilarious" scenarios that have been happening.
Yes, thousands of water spiders live here, and unfortunately, some of them have touched me. Ew!
This is me, bathing in the Clackamas River. It's freezing, but it's also very clear and very clean.
Here's a terrible photo of our campsite. We're having so much fun, can't you tell?
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
blackberry, blackberry, blackberry
I just watched/fast forwarded my way through this movie, because apparently I've become the type of creep that will sit through a terrible film about hippies just to see 2 1/2 minutes of Robert Hass. At one point they start reading from "Praise," which inspired me to pull it out again and reminisce about all the good times I've had with this book. These poems are good friends; the first one I ever fell in love with was this one, which still continues to be one of my favorites:
Meditation at Lagunitas
All the new thinking is about loss.
In this it resembles all the old thinking.
The idea, for example, that each particular erases
the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown-
faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk
of that black birch is, by his presence,
some tragic falling off from a first world
of undivided light. Or the other notion that,
because there is in this world no one thing
to which the bramble of blackberry corresponds,
a word is elegy to what it signifies.
We talked about it late last night and in the voice
of my friend, there was a thin wire of grief, a tone
almost querulous. After a while I understood that,
talking this way, everything dissolves: justice,
pine, hair, woman, you and I. There was a woman
I made love to and I remembered how, holding
her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,
I felt a violent wonder at her presence
like a thirst for salt, for my childhood river
with its island willows, silly music from the pleasure boat,
muddy places where we caught the little orange-silver fish
called pumpkinseed. It hardly had to do with her.
Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances. I must have been the same to her.
But I remember so much, the way her hands dismantled bread,
the thing her father said that hurt her, what
she dreamed. There are moments when the body is as numinous
as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.
Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,
saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.
-Robert Hass
Meditation at Lagunitas
All the new thinking is about loss.
In this it resembles all the old thinking.
The idea, for example, that each particular erases
the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown-
faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk
of that black birch is, by his presence,
some tragic falling off from a first world
of undivided light. Or the other notion that,
because there is in this world no one thing
to which the bramble of blackberry corresponds,
a word is elegy to what it signifies.
We talked about it late last night and in the voice
of my friend, there was a thin wire of grief, a tone
almost querulous. After a while I understood that,
talking this way, everything dissolves: justice,
pine, hair, woman, you and I. There was a woman
I made love to and I remembered how, holding
her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,
I felt a violent wonder at her presence
like a thirst for salt, for my childhood river
with its island willows, silly music from the pleasure boat,
muddy places where we caught the little orange-silver fish
called pumpkinseed. It hardly had to do with her.
Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances. I must have been the same to her.
But I remember so much, the way her hands dismantled bread,
the thing her father said that hurt her, what
she dreamed. There are moments when the body is as numinous
as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.
Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,
saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.
-Robert Hass
Friday, June 29, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Why Nuclear Winter Might Not Be Such a Tragedy After All
Today at Work:
Woman: Hiiiiiiiiii, I'm looking for a movie, I don't know if you have it... ummm.... I don't know exactly what it's called.
Amanda: Ok. Do you--
Woman: Ok, yeah, like, try "I-P-H-I-G-E-N-I-A"
Amanda: (looking) Hmmm. No, it doesn't look like we have that, sorry. I can--
Woman: Nothing even beginning with "I-P-H?" Did you get it right? It's (spells it again, slowly)
Amanda: (looks again) No... sorry, we really don't have it. Let me--
Woman: Well, what's the closest word you have to that? Maybe your database isn't working.
Amanda: The closest... ? No, the database is working. We really just don't have this movie.
Woman: Well, I think it might be broken. Just look up "Woody Allen" to check and make sure it's working.
Amanda: Well... no, ok, see, we can only look up by title. Look, I'll show you (turns monitor so woman can see) -- see? Nothing here.
Woman: So you're telling me there's NOTHING under the letters "I-P-H?" I can't believe that, that's a very common word beginning, how could nothing be under that? (aside: can you think of any English words that start with "iph?" yeah, me either.)
Amanda: Maybe we just don't have the movie?
Woman: The database obviously has something wrong with it, I don't think it works. Just look up "Woody Allen" to make sure it works.
Amanda: Um. No, ahhh, like I said, we ONLY search by specific title. So, typing in "Woody Allen" won't bring anything up. Here, I can search for another title, like--
Woman: Well, I think you need to get a new database. This one doesn't work very well.
Amanda: ... ?
Woman: Do you at least have a Greek section so I can just find the movie myself?
Amanda: Actually, no, we just have--
Woman: You don't have a Greek section???
Amanda: We have Greek movies, but they--
Woman: WHATEVER. Looks like it's time to get Netflix!
Amanda: (dumbfounded silence)
By the way, I looked up the movie after she left, and it's not available. What a surprise!
Woman: Hiiiiiiiiii, I'm looking for a movie, I don't know if you have it... ummm.... I don't know exactly what it's called.
Amanda: Ok. Do you--
Woman: Ok, yeah, like, try "I-P-H-I-G-E-N-I-A"
Amanda: (looking) Hmmm. No, it doesn't look like we have that, sorry. I can--
Woman: Nothing even beginning with "I-P-H?" Did you get it right? It's (spells it again, slowly)
Amanda: (looks again) No... sorry, we really don't have it. Let me--
Woman: Well, what's the closest word you have to that? Maybe your database isn't working.
Amanda: The closest... ? No, the database is working. We really just don't have this movie.
Woman: Well, I think it might be broken. Just look up "Woody Allen" to check and make sure it's working.
Amanda: Well... no, ok, see, we can only look up by title. Look, I'll show you (turns monitor so woman can see) -- see? Nothing here.
Woman: So you're telling me there's NOTHING under the letters "I-P-H?" I can't believe that, that's a very common word beginning, how could nothing be under that? (aside: can you think of any English words that start with "iph?" yeah, me either.)
Amanda: Maybe we just don't have the movie?
Woman: The database obviously has something wrong with it, I don't think it works. Just look up "Woody Allen" to make sure it works.
Amanda: Um. No, ahhh, like I said, we ONLY search by specific title. So, typing in "Woody Allen" won't bring anything up. Here, I can search for another title, like--
Woman: Well, I think you need to get a new database. This one doesn't work very well.
Amanda: ... ?
Woman: Do you at least have a Greek section so I can just find the movie myself?
Amanda: Actually, no, we just have--
Woman: You don't have a Greek section???
Amanda: We have Greek movies, but they--
Woman: WHATEVER. Looks like it's time to get Netflix!
Amanda: (dumbfounded silence)
By the way, I looked up the movie after she left, and it's not available. What a surprise!
Friday, June 22, 2007
On Minor Celebrity
Living in a university town provides some of the greatest "celebrity" sightings I could ever ask for. One of my old French Cinema teachers cohabits with (dates? is married to?) Richard Powers, and she often comes in and rents on their joint account (though I've never seen old R.P. himself in the store). The other day, she called to ask about a video; the caller ID said "Richard Powers" and I was inexplicably enthralled that the phone of a National Book Award winner was being used to ask me for information. I've actually seen Richard Powers about three million times and it's never really been a big deal, though I always invariably say to myself, "Look, it's celebrated author Richard Powers!" If I ever start a gossip rag, it will probably consist entirely of photos of him getting out of a car, with the caption "National Book Award Winners: They're Just Like Us!!"
Here, for the first time, is my "Official List of Minor Celebrities I Would Most Like to See on the Street and Pretend I Don't Know Who They Are:"
1. Robert Hass: I think if I could force one person on Earth to be my friend, this is who it would be. For the first year after I discovered "Sun Under Wood," I carried it with me everywhere, because there would be times when I really just couldn't go another second without reading it. Don't tell him I said this, but the idea of ever meeting him makes me break out in a cold sweat. I suppose he technically doesn't belong on this list, since I would be unable to feign indifference due to the sheer terror in my heart.
2. Benjamin Kunkel: I liked your book. Mainly, though, you're just really hot:
3. Joanna Newsom: She sings about meteors and might actually be an elf!
4. Milan Kundera: Hardly a minor celebrity, though during my visit to Paris I was convinced that I would see him wandering the streets. Why wouldn't he be? When I failed to see him, I amused myself by staring at an old man in a cafe and pretending he was Professor Avenarius from "Immortality." Next time, Kundera, next time.
5. Elyse Sewell: OH MY GOD, you are cool. While the other girls on "America's Next Top Model" were busy whining about how hard modeling is, you were in the confessional booth, eating candy and laughing about how stupid they were. You date one of the dudes in The Shins! You are super-adorable and witty, and I hear we're going to be living in the same city soon. I can't wait to see you at a dive bar and pretend I don't know who you are!
6. Michael Palin: Inevitably, the only people Michael Palin ever runs into on his travel shows are either nomads who have no idea who he is, or idiotic British tourists who try to force him to act out a Monty Python sketch with them. My god, man, he doesn't want to act out the Dead Parrot sketch with you while he's trying to cross the Sahara! Oh, Michael Palin, if I ever see you in person I'll make sure to silently appreciate your talent while treating you exactly like any other middle-aged British man attempting to scale the Himalayas.
Here, for the first time, is my "Official List of Minor Celebrities I Would Most Like to See on the Street and Pretend I Don't Know Who They Are:"
1. Robert Hass: I think if I could force one person on Earth to be my friend, this is who it would be. For the first year after I discovered "Sun Under Wood," I carried it with me everywhere, because there would be times when I really just couldn't go another second without reading it. Don't tell him I said this, but the idea of ever meeting him makes me break out in a cold sweat. I suppose he technically doesn't belong on this list, since I would be unable to feign indifference due to the sheer terror in my heart.
2. Benjamin Kunkel: I liked your book. Mainly, though, you're just really hot:
3. Joanna Newsom: She sings about meteors and might actually be an elf!
4. Milan Kundera: Hardly a minor celebrity, though during my visit to Paris I was convinced that I would see him wandering the streets. Why wouldn't he be? When I failed to see him, I amused myself by staring at an old man in a cafe and pretending he was Professor Avenarius from "Immortality." Next time, Kundera, next time.
5. Elyse Sewell: OH MY GOD, you are cool. While the other girls on "America's Next Top Model" were busy whining about how hard modeling is, you were in the confessional booth, eating candy and laughing about how stupid they were. You date one of the dudes in The Shins! You are super-adorable and witty, and I hear we're going to be living in the same city soon. I can't wait to see you at a dive bar and pretend I don't know who you are!
6. Michael Palin: Inevitably, the only people Michael Palin ever runs into on his travel shows are either nomads who have no idea who he is, or idiotic British tourists who try to force him to act out a Monty Python sketch with them. My god, man, he doesn't want to act out the Dead Parrot sketch with you while he's trying to cross the Sahara! Oh, Michael Palin, if I ever see you in person I'll make sure to silently appreciate your talent while treating you exactly like any other middle-aged British man attempting to scale the Himalayas.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
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