Value City

Today I went to a used book sale at the IMC. I love book sales, and the ones at the IMC always turn out to be unbelievably great... last time I came home with, among other things, a hardback copy of Underworld (for $1!!), some Pynchon, some Roth, and a nice hardback copy of Ada to go along with my well-loved paperback copy (which I also picked up at an IMC sale). Here is what I came home with this time:

1. Less Than Zero, Bret Easton Ellis
2. Falconer, John Cheever
3. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
4. Prep, Curtis Sittenfeld (I've already read this)
5. The Making of Kubrick's 2001, Jerome Agel
6. Strange Deaths (a list of strange ways people have died... yay!)

In total... $3.50. Hooray!

In honor of my $900 tax refund

Good News, Bad News

THANK YOU, Roger Ebert:

Thursday, April 26th
8:30 pm "Perfume: The Story of a Murderer"
with special guest, Alan Rickman

YES. YES YES YES YES. YES, OH MY GOD, YES.

In sadder news, they're making a movie of "Revolutionary Road." This should be great news, but it stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, and will be directed by Sam Mendes (Jarhead, Road to Perdition). Could be worse, but man, it sure could be better.

Most surreal song to listen to while on the 50 Green bus at night in the rain, parked in the Big Lots parking lot and watching a family of 8 do scratch-off lottery tickets while waiting for the bus driver to break up a heated argument between two teens just outside the bus doors:

Serenade - Franz Schubert

9 1/2 Hours

Since my time in Champaign is drawing to a close, I've been under a lot of pressure to experience everything One Last Time... which means that I haven't really said "no" to an invitation for the past 2 1/2 months. Thus, the all-day drinkfest of March 2nd, or, as the kids like to call it, Unofficial St. Patrick's day.

After I got done tutoring, I went over to Kenzie's at about 4:00 for a corned beef luncheon and some warm beer. Behold, the wicked agents of my downfall:

They took us to this party on Green Street, where I discovered that I have superhuman strength:

Afterwards, we went to Brothers, which seemed like a good idea at the time. Drinking two cans of Sparks also seemed like a good idea at the time (though I'm pretty sure the excessive caffeine is what kept me alive). I like this photo because in about a year, I'll be able to look at it and pinpoint the exact moment when I developed stomach cancer.

By this point, time had lost all meaning. What was it, like 8:00? Obviously, time to eat pizza and go to Joe's. I have no pictures after this because I was too busy dancing wildly to late 90's techno, and making fist-pumps during "Since U Been Gone." Luckily, someone else was there to document those moments:

Yes, it is I, Muhammed Ali! Since viewing this photo, I've vowed never to dance again. At the very least, I'm glad I'm not the guy who took his pants off and danced on the poles. I made it until about 1:30, at which point I thought, "What am I doing?" and went home. I slept for 3 or 4 hours (since my blood had been turned to liquid caffeine from the Sparks), then woke up with the worst sore throat of all time. I've been sick ever since -- thanks, Unofficial! Oh, and I also have pinkeye.

It was pretty much the best day ever. Can we do it again?

Shoe Lust

Only $158!

I have been lied to

BIG NEWS: "REPOIRE" IS NOT A WORD!!!!

Why wasn't I told? I was writing a letter of recommendation for one of my employees, and was astounded when "repoire" was picked up by spellcheck. I looked it up in the dictionary... not there. I (unsuccessfully) tried several different spellings, then finally googled it to see what was up.

It's "rapport." Rapport! Hilariously enough, after looking it up on google, I found some sort of word forum where someone was asking how to spell "repoire," and someone said, "I think you mean rapport," and I thought, "Well, I guess I could use that instead," still not realizing that rapport = repoire. I always thought they were two different words, and that "rapport" was pronounced just like it's spelled, which is even more embarrassing.

Good going! At least I know how to spell "dumb."

2006 Book Wrap-Up

Here is what I read this year, roughly in order:

1. Indecision - Benjamin Kunkel (240pgs)
2. A Year in Provence - Peter Mayle (207)
3. The Flaneur - Edmund White (211)
4. Damage - Josephine Hart (195)
5. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess (192)
6. The Plot Against America - Philip Roth (391)
7. Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides (529)
8. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov (457)
9. A Mouthful of Air - Anthony Burgess (416)
10. Against Love - Laura Kipnis (207)
11. Woe is I - Patricia O'Connor (240)
12. Paris to the Moon - Adam Gopnik (342)
13. Trainspotting - Irvine Welsh (348)
14. Stories of Roald Dahl - R. Dahl (520)
15. Jitterbug Perfume - Tom Robbins (342)
16. Candide - Voltaire (120)
17. How I Became Stupid - Martin Page (160)
18. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (489)
19. Ada - Vladimir Nabokov (445)
20. Field Notes From a Catastrophe - Elizabeth Kolbert (191)
21. English as a Global Language - David Crystal (191)
22. The Human Stain - Philip Roth (361)
23. Portnoy's Complaint - Philip Roth (271)
24. How to be Good - Nick Hornby (305)
25. Pale Fire - Vladimir Nabokov (315)
26. The Hours - Michael Cunningham (226)
27. Six Moral Tales - Eric Rohmer (262)
28. Perfume - Patrick Süskind (255)
29. Time and the Hunter (in progress) - Italo Calvino (152)
30. The Russian Debutate's Handbook (in progress) - Gary Shteyngart (476)

Page count: 9,056
Pages per week: 174

Well, that's not so bad, considering there was school in there as well. Occasionally I even interacted with others!

Winners:

1. Ada - Vladimir Nabokov.
This is the best book I've ever read. Gorgeously indescribable and life-changing, hilariously funny... a masterpiece. Is it creepy to say that I felt close to Nabokov while reading this? I feel like we're kindred spirits, which is one of the best things you can feel while reading a book.

2. Pale Fire - Vladimir Nabokov.
It was a very merry Nabokov year, obviously. While "Ada" is a masterpiece, it's also a tricky mistress, and was sometimes so difficult that I was plunged into despair. "Pale Fire," on the other hand, has all of Ada's joys but few of its sorrows; really, there is no reason why anyone shouldn't love this book. Honestly, Pale Fire is probably even "better" than Ada (the writing and organization are flawless (!), whereas Ada tends to ramble and wallow in itself) but Ada inexplicably touched me on some crazy level, so I prefer it. Pale Fire really is fantastic, though; it's probably one of the funniest books I've ever read. It is also probably the only novel ever written that combines a fake poetry critique with a murder mystery, which is reason enough to at least think about reading it.

3. The Hours - Michael Cunningham
Won the Pulitzer Prize, and rightfully so -- amazing! I'd recommend this to anyone. I believe this is also the first and only book to make me sob while reading it.

4. Jitterbug Perfume - Tom Robbins
Everyone my age has already read this, so I feel like some sort of sad 50 year old who has just discovered Led Zeppelin. Seriously, though... this is storytelling at its best; I read it in April, but I still think about it all the time. Epic!

5. Perfume - Patrick Suskind
Ben's dad gave this to me on Christmas, and I finished it 2 days later... it was that kind of book. I don't know what it is about these perfume sagas; I was completely, completely, completely engrossed while reading this, and I can't get the story out of my head. They've made a movie out of this (by Tom Tykwer of "Run Lola Run" fame!) which comes out next week, and which I am completely obsessed with (one of my great secret loves is reading books, then seeing the movies they've been made into).

6. Other things I loved but don't feel like writing about:
Indecision (except for the cop-out hipsteriffic ending)
Plot Against America (wonderful, I already wrote about this in a previous entry)
A Clockwork Orange
A Mouthful of Air
Stories of Roald Dahl
Six Moral Tales (I'll write about this later, I hope)

LOSERS:

1. How I Became Stupid - Martin Page
This book has no redeeming value; it never manages to find anything to say and keeps the story bland without ever becoming a "bad" book (which might have been funny or at least interesting). There is literally no reason for it to exist on this earth. It is so insipid that I forgot it existed until I looked at my list... if I had to describe it in one word, it would be "tolerable." Try again, Martin Page.

2. The Flanuer - Edmund White
Terrible.

3. Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
I actually really enjoyed this book, but the hype surrounding it was so great that I couldn't help but feel disappointed. It's a good book, yes, but a Pulitzer winner? And why is it everyone's favorite? I couldn't see it. I don't want to be overly critical, because I really did enjoy the story (it's very well-written!) but the payoffs just weren't as grand as I had hoped, and the emotional impact was nearly zero. Is it lame to say I liked "The Virgin Suicides" better?

4. Time and the Hunter - Italo Calvino
Italo Calvino, I don't think I understand you. This is the second book of yours that I've gotten halfway through and dreaded finishing. Get away from me, I think we're through.

Go Cobras!

It turns out that Parkland is not where the smart kids congregate. I do a lot of forehead slapping when I'm there.

On the other hand, Parkland was offering free hot dogs the other day, which is something that never happened at the U of I.